Weddings involve lots of traditions.  I’ve gotten lost trying to either keep up with what everyone else seems to already know about the ceremony or trying desperately to avoid putting my foot in my mouth.

HERE’S THE HOW AND WHY OF THE WEDDING

Here’s a primer for how things are going to go – what traditions we’re honoring and why, and what you need to know for the big day to feel comfortable.

PLEASE NOTE:  All the times we give are APPROXIMATE.  If anything (god forbid) goes wrong at the wedding,

What’s on the Agenda (subject to change)

5:00 PM is the earliest you should possibly board the shuttle that goes back and forth from the wedding/reception venue and the hotel.  FYI the shuttle goes to the venue and back, and can make additional stops in the evening at places near-ish to the hotel if you talk ________.

5:30 PM is when the doors open for the wedding!

Ok, I’m at “Enclave.”  How do I get to the wedding?

It’s on the roof.  The bar is open.  Grab a beverage.  Don’t forget to hydrate!  The desert is brutal even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Tell me more about the location of the ceremony:

THE CEREMONY IS OUTDOORS.  In a desert.  Near sunset.  Sun is bright.  The temperature is high during the day and then drops precipitously at night.  Dress accordingly.

5:55 PM is ideally when the DJ gives an announcement that tells you to head towards the ceremony area.  You’re welcome to sit earlier, of course.

Where to sit?

Traditionally, wedding ceremonies only have one aisle.  You are expected to sit on either the bride or the groom’s side, depending on who you know.

This does not apply, because THERE ARE TWO AISLES.

Ok, but that doesn’t answer the question.  Where do I sit?

Sit anywhere that doesn’t have a “reserved” sign on it.  Don’t leave empty seats between you and our fellow guests out of politeness.  Both sides are for both brides (uuuugggghhh that rhymed…)

6:00 PM ish is ideally when the ceremony begins.  The DJ will make a final announcement about the ceremony being about to begin.

How big is the wedding party?

There are two best men – Emma’s and my bother.

In what order are people processing?

The parents of the brides enter first, then the two best men, then the brides at the same time.

…why aren’t the brides being escorted by their fathers (which is customary in American weddings)?

Patriarchy.  Ok, no for serious, though: Emma and I are both independent women.  While all of the parents have approved of the match, there’s something about being escorted down the aisle by a male head-of-household that smacks of ownership.  We made sure it wouldn’t break the hearts of our respective fathers, of course (don’t worry, there’s still a father/daughter dance.)

…why are the brides walking down the aisle at the same time?

Our partnership is an equal one.  Me in my dress is no more or less spotlight-worthy than my future wife in her gorgeous suit.

Typically one stands when the bride enters.  How does that work when two brides are present?

Stand when you see either one of us enter.

Are there any religious elements to the ceremony?

No.

What is going to happen in the ceremony?

Opening remarks from our officiant, Leta.  Then three readings – one by Leta, one by Tiffany (Emma’s brother’s wife) and one from Rachel (a good friend of the couple who met Sarah at Brandeis.)  Declarations of intent from the brides, then an official pronouncement of the declaration of intent by Leta.  Then vows.  Then the end of the ceremony.

How long should it take?

20 minutes?  Maybe a half hour?  Both actresses prefer short and sweet, but we’re both being given a mic and free range to talk, so you never know how long we’ll monologue for.  😉

What happens once the vows are exchanged?

Leta announces the brides, then the recessional, then we have a cocktail hour!

I only see tall tables on the roof.  There are people taking away some of the chairs.  I want a chair.  Can I still sit in the chairs?

Yes.  Above all else, be comfortable so that you can be your favorite version of yourself.

Are you taking official pictures at this time?

Yes.  We’ll probably grab one of each family as well as shots of the bridal parties/families.

When’s the prettiest time to take a photo?

When the lights of the skyline have just turned on – near sunset (which is at 7:15)

At 7:30 PM ish the DJ will ask everyone to head downstairs, where the reception is.

 

TBC

 

My mother sends the most fantastic care packages every year for my birthday.  This year’s included the following:

Should Chicken Suit play the role of “Feather Girl” at the wedding, now that it can wear a tiara and a tutu?  Mother insists the feathers won’t be hypoallergenic.  I don’t think this will be a huge problem.

Thoughts?